Could you imagine how boring a piece of writing would be if you used the same term or same phrase over and over? Let's take a look at an example of this so you can see just how bad repetition can be when it comes to your sentences.
My sister's name is Kris. Kris lives in New Jersey. Fort Monmouth is where Kris works. Kris drives a white car. Kris loves to go shopping. I talk to Kris at least three times each week. Either Kris calls me or I call her. Kris is getting married in May.
What word or phrase jumps out at you when you read that paragraph? Well, it isn't too hard to see that the name "Kris" is repeated over & over. (In fact, if this paragraph was read out loud to you, you'd certainly be sick of hearing the name "Kris.")
Grammatically, there's nothing wrong with those sentences. However, it's not too pleasant to read. How could I fix that paragraph so that the name "Kris" isn't used so much? Let's keep the first sentence the same, as it's important to know my sister's name. After that, however, we need to vary it for the reader. Pick a sentence and write it another way so I'm not using the name "Kris." (It wouldn't be bad to leave that name in the paragraph another time or two, but having that name repeated eight times is really too much!!!)
Don't worry about rewriting the whole paragraph. Instead, focus on just one sentence that you could modify.
11 comments:
My sister's name is Kris. She lives in New Jersey. Fort Monmouth is where Kris works. She drives a white car. My sister loves to go shopping. I talk to Kris at least three times each week. Either she calls me or I call her. Kris is getting married in May.
Claudia E.
Mirlene comment
Kris is my sister.she lives in Hinsville Giorgia. she is a nice and a pretty lady, for her beauty she going to be married in May this year.
She drives a white car and loves to go shopping.
My sister's name is Kris. She lives in New Jersey and Fort Monmouth is where she works.
Geraldine G.
My sister's name is Kris. She lives in new Jersey. My sister and I talk at least three times each week.
Allison.
Kris and I call each other at least three times a week.
Abbey P.
My sister's favorite hobby is to go shopping.
Maria Rodriguez-Trelles
My sister's name is Kris. She lives in New Jersey and works in Fort Monmouth.
GM
My sister's name is Kris. She lives in New Jersey. She drives a white car and loves to go shopping. We talk at least three times each week. My sister is getting married in May.
Margie
This is how I would rewrite the paragraph:
My sister's name is Kris. She lives in New Jersey and works in Fort Monmouth. Kris drives a white car and loves to go shopping. I talk to Kris at least three times each week. Either she calls me or I call her. Kris is getting married in May.
Leonie Florestal
My sister's name is Kris.She lives in New Jersey,and work's in Forth Monmouth.I talk to her at least three times a week.
Sheila W.
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